DotA 2 is possibly the most satisfying game that I have ever played. It is a complex game of mental and dexterity chess - close-ended with defined rules, yet with a much broader set of continuously distributed outcomes. Victory hinges on the sum of five individuals’ mastery of the game mechanics, amplified by their teamwork. Despite the higher ‘barriers-to-entry’ in learning to play the game, no progression or play-to-win is required; just an hour of time in exchange for a good mental workout.
But as with all good things, they eventually come to an end. Why I decided to leave the game behind can be summed up as such:
Better Spectator than Gamer
After spectating numerous games during The International 13, it dawned on me that I’d never reach the level of skill and finesse required to enjoy the game at its finest. The awareness to pull adjacent lane creeps like Liquid’s 33 did during a high ground push with Visage’s familiars (after an already crazy team fight), or Boxi’s clutch snowball saves on Tusk during the Grand Finals… It would take thousands of hours grinding the game to hone my skills; time which I simply can’t afford.
It could still be fun as it is, but it’d never be that level of fun pros get to enjoy: where everybody is on the same plateau of game understanding and teamwork is flawless; and where any error is the result of the opponent’s brilliance rather than an unforced one.
Socialization takes different forms
I started playing DotA in 2005 - it was the golden era of online multiplayer games (like Counterstrike, Maplestory etc.) The vast appeal in these online games was community: creating shared memories of a fail or a clutch moment that I could reminisce with friends next morning. We could hang out at the local LAN shop after school or play online from the comfort of our homes. Likewise, I got back into DotA 2 in 2019 with a bunch of close friends who still game - the nostalgia and social space provided an avenue for us to connect (especially during COVID when gatherings were restricted). We tested the limits of our coordination and teamwork, and were rewarded with euphoric last gasp victories or losses that left us sour, together.
In both instances, I grew out of the game for a similar reason: the people that matter moved on too. Conversely, playing DotA with strangers did chip away at some of the fun (and most of the purpose). I never ‘found’ or wanted community from the game, it was just a conduit for community that already exists.
Leaving the Compulsion Loop
Everyone experiences this to a varying degree: you play games to leave the real world (and its problems) behind. However, game engineers do everything they can to keep you on the screen. For DotA 2, it’s slightly harder because incentives attainable are fundamentally cosmetic and not related to power or upgrades. But that keeps the game fair and attracts players imprimis.
Every match provides ample dopamine release due to the game’s highly engaging nature (pauses and ‘AFK’s are seldom as there’s always something to do in every moment) and the game auto-queues you for another match when you finish one.
But when you’re finally back in the real world, life is where you left off. Sometimes I’d burn the midnight oil and find myself not functioning my best the next day. Work feels more exhausting. Queue caffeine. When the day finally ends, the compulsion to game again only gets stronger.
I’ve experienced bouts of such loops in the 1,000+ hours of DotA 2 played, and it takes awareness and discipline to avoid succumbing to the hamster wheel. There are many other ways to get an adrenaline rush (physical sports) or recharge (other hobbies, nature), and all points above considered, I came to the conclusion that spectating DotA 2 in healthy doses provides the best balance.
As an avid gamer, I don’t think I’ll find another game like this. But this doesn’t inhibit me from trying out other games as well.
Because life is all about trying new experiences, and the dishes I remember most vividly are the ones I taste for the first time. Likewise, stepping away from the repetition of the game places me in a position to try something new or explore the unknowns.